Lunch - lettuce, cucumber, tomato, chicken mayo, crispy bacon. (filled approx. 800ml)

Dinner - baked camembert with parma ham, salmon with tapenade, guacamole and goat's cheese.

Drinks - 2 glasses red wine, 3 slimline tonics, 1 glass caffeine-free diet coke

Monday:

Breakfast - half a can of tuna in sunflower oil
Lunch - 6 mini Babybel lights, chicken on a stick
Dinner - stir-fried leftover lamb with shredded lettuce, Waitrose chilli sauce and Cardini's caesar dressing

Tuesday:

Lunch - 400ml tub of lettuce with half a can of tuna in sunflower oil
Dinner - chilli verde (pork, cheese, spices, chilli sauce), 6 olives, guacamole
Snack - pork scratchings

Wednesday:

Lunch - M&S chicken, bacon and mushroom sandwich filler
Dinner - roast pork, carrots, 2 small roast onions, mushroom gravy (with a little flour), cheeseboard
Alcohol - 2 glasses champagne

Ok, new plan.

Sod this three meals a day malarkey... I'm going back to Eating for Pleasure.

I will eat a full meal whenever I'm out, being cooked for, or some special occasion. All meals must be IPD friendly, with a planned cheat once a fortnight.

Other than that, it's nothing but small (400ml) combinations of clean (unprocessed!) meat with raw IPD-friendly vegetables, and only when tummy is rumbling.

Alcohol - only when Patrick insists, and then only as much as I need to have for things not to be obvious that I'm not drinking.

I'm so sick of being fat.

Today I have had 2 large eggs, a packet of diced pancetta and a handful of mushrooms, all fried up in lovely butter. (10am)

I have drunk, so far, 1.5 litres of water and a can of caffeine-free diet coke (12am)

One small can of tuna in sunflower oil with a tablespoon of Hellman's and a shake of Schwarz pilau rice seasoning (yeah, I'm weird) (5pm)