Today I have had 2 large eggs, a packet of diced pancetta and a handful of mushrooms, all fried up in lovely butter. (10am)

I have drunk, so far, 1.5 litres of water and a can of caffeine-free diet coke (12am)

One small can of tuna in sunflower oil with a tablespoon of Hellman's and a shake of Schwarz pilau rice seasoning (yeah, I'm weird) (5pm)